tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52291692011-08-14T11:00:56.907-07:00MY UNDISCLOSED LOCATIONHOT LINKS FROM THE UNDERGROUND! Major Barbarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03977287088718858196noreply@blogger.comBlogger151100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-1080489991751859282004-03-28T07:13:00.000-08:002004-03-28T12:13:15.826-08:00Well, Girls... time to hunker down. As you know, we suspended this journal due to a security breach, and your mother's delicate condition. But we have business to discuss. And the tech boys assure me this server is now secure. So brace yourselves: Your mother's pussy-licking novel has reared its ugly head again. Those Canadian cocksuckers at Signet who own the New American Library imprints VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-956369522003-06-13T11:05:00.000-07:002003-06-13T12:17:26.000-07:00Hey, Girls. Daddy here. It's been a busy few weeks. And unfortunately, this WMD thing is trying to go major-league. Just so you know what I'm dealing with, every knob polisher in the executive branch is floating ideas to keep this small-scale. Even POTUS. I don't know what to tell him about this one. He says we should leak this letter -- slightly edited by POTUS himself, purely as a VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-944127872003-05-15T14:41:00.000-07:002003-05-16T06:02:00.000-07:00All's well, girls. Your mother is on the mend now; sores are quickly drying up.... Had a near miss in Indianapolis. Some minor-league asshole at "WISH-TV" Channel 8 had the temerity to report that the POTUS' organizers asked audience members to take off their neckties. It was a simple enough request: Since POTUS was talking about tax cuts, we wanted to meme that it was all about the working VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-942019782003-05-12T06:49:00.000-07:002004-03-28T07:13:12.483-08:00Hello, girls. Everything's fine here: Your mother has had her meds and she's resting comfortably. We can't be completely certain what precipitated this last problem, but we're reasonably sure it's The Clenis™. It is, truly, the most potent political meme in modern history. Thanks to a leftist code-named "Jennifer," its new nomenclature will make Clinton's penis more powerful than ever beforeVPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-941472622003-05-11T06:34:00.000-07:002003-05-11T11:35:38.000-07:00Mother's Day! Thank you for the gifts, whatever they are.... Girls, I hope you've not been too stunned by the truth to keep reading. This can be an awkward way to learn your parents' real nature. Just be glad we aren't using video. Mother's Day: It's time you came to grips with your mother and history. You know that my recovery gets occasionally derailed. (And, yes, I am having a cockatilVPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-940792782003-05-09T16:27:00.000-07:002003-05-09T17:33:10.000-07:00Well, it's off to Little Rock, Arkansas -- without your father! Wonder who I might share a cigar with there?.... Mmmmmm.... I love to tease Dick that way. He can't help but imagine that I'm talking about Clinton and his big ol' trailer trash cock. It drives him crazy! Anyway: I'm speaking at tomorrow's Harding University commencement. The place is a little less notorious than Bob Jones, VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-939244592003-05-07T06:07:00.000-07:002003-05-07T10:17:01.000-07:00Kissy kiss, girls. It's your father, here. We announced today. Your dad's on the ticket in '04. How do I know? Because I say so. Everything was arranged while POTUS was still in the flight suit. After the teleprompter but before the sedative. While he was still jazzed enough to make buzzing noises and play airplane games. But before he got snippy and started spitting on people. VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-936194162003-05-01T15:09:00.000-07:002003-05-05T11:06:19.000-07:00"Write what you know." That's all I said. But now we've got a little Homosexual Harmonic Convergence going on here -- and your father's ass is tight enough to crack filberts. Blame Rick Santorum! "Man On Dog" indeed! Everyone's talking about it now. And god forbid any of Gen. Christian's "hot dog" pictures see the light of day. Your father is sure someone will dig up a copy of "Sisters." VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-932760362003-04-25T19:58:00.000-07:002003-04-28T11:04:09.000-07:00You know how I always told you to look for the silver lining? I'm without Dick again today at this new location. So I'm looking for something to cheer up the reinforced concrete walls. Business opportunities, of course! This week of Easter egg farts and hoi polloi hand-shaking has yielded a simply glorious dose of exposure -- and a Bold new plan: I've started the James Madison Book Award andVPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-930083862003-04-21T15:40:00.000-07:002003-04-21T18:26:06.000-07:00It's finally over! Too bad your father's not here to savor the aroma of victory. The relentless search. The explosive energy, the embedded journalists. The bold and mighty challenge of it all. The whole world looked to me. Easter, 2003. I hosted the White House Easter Egg Roll! I know by the time you read this -- if you ever read this -- it will be very old news. Obviously. But MarioVPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-920934962003-04-06T09:11:00.000-07:002003-04-06T14:16:45.000-07:00Hello, girls. Don’t worry. We're kosher. I say that whenever I can now. My own kinder, gentler massage with the neocons. You understand. Not like your mother. She’s resting now. TLC. TCO. Taken Care Of. So. This whole “blog thing” is unusual. Bold. That’s the only word for it, really. This is the new stuff. CNN happened in 1991. All the embedded wind and fancy poo smears these VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-920764032003-04-05T22:18:00.000-08:002003-04-06T07:29:46.000-07:00aDmam. tHiss thimg. shit... dick is fimally out of the room for just a mimute amd... just a sec. There. now i can spell it. n n n n n n n n n n n n n. it works. a minute here. the stupid "n" key was stuck. (i think that happened once to someone's spacebar? afros. agfrioss. atroesss. shit{_*( oh fuck parenthesess. look: here's the story. and yes, it's been a lost weekend. the potusVPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-919245622003-04-03T09:23:00.000-08:002003-04-06T01:07:24.000-08:00So yesterday was fun. One of the tech boys drew the short straw and had to tell your father that someone cracked this site. And it's supposed to be as secure as the Cone Of Silence! (That's what I said to Dick. Really got his goat. He takes such pride in his work!) Anyway. Said tech boy got his first Dick Massage. It wasn't pretty. The good news? This site is secure again! Completely VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-918573282003-04-02T10:17:00.000-08:002003-04-02T10:17:27.733-08:00.100002A47SECURESITE/VPOTUS/ EYES ONLY VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5229169.post-917896442003-04-01T12:00:00.000-08:002003-04-03T16:00:44.000-08:00My Dear Children: It is my fervent hope that you never read this. Your father is Dick-tating, as he likes to joke: This is our gift to the family, he says. A record of our precious days here at The Undisclosed Location.... days which test our souls, but marry us as a golden alloy in the crucible of our purging love for God and country. My, how your father can talk! (He's gone now. Another VPOTUShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15910039270216967275noreply@blogger.com